The Intellectual Wilderness There is nothing more useless than doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

2009.05.18 14:33

Day 8, Miserable

Filed under: Fast Food Fighter — zxq9 @ 14:33

I woke up early today because of the ‘splode ass. Then I couldn’t get back to sleep. Every way I tried to turn, or tried not to turn, set off an avalanche of gurgling, rumbling, and a host of other weird, nameless, onomatopoeically impossible sounds from my guts. My stomach never actually hurt, though, and I’m thankful for that. It would have just been one more thing to be angry about.

Today was Sunday. The day I am supposed to go to the fight and watch my friends and training partners compete. In the morning things didn’t look very good for that.

After three or four highly explosive episodes on my household throne I became suddenly hungry and decided to head to the drivethrough for some breakfast. Looking over the menu I just couldn’t see anything that even remotely interested me, as grease was definitely the last thing I was hungry for. I settled on pancakes, a fillet-o-fish, salad and an orange juice… but by the time I arrived home I felt miserable and worn out so I fell into bed and passed out for a few hours.

When I woke up I still felt horrible, but I also still felt hungry. So I opened up my McDonald’s bag and started to eat…

I looked, and felt, like this all morning and afternoon

The hotcakes aren’t so great when they aren’t hot anymore. Actually, they are downright horrible when they aren’t hot anymore. I’m picky when it comes to pancakes in the first place because I make some killer pancakes and I’m picky about ingredients when I cook. Pancakes may be simple, but there are still distinct grades of kickass and ass-kick in the pancake family. This was just ass-kick. They were hard to get down. It didn’t help that I felt bad, either.

The fillet-o-fish wasn’t anything wonderful cold, either. Actually, I think I would have been better off not eating anything and just calling it a day. Yuk.

I decided to be lazy with the expert: the dog

I felt pretty bad all morning and afternoon and decided to at least try to make it to the competition to see how things would turn out. I rested all day and took things very slow. I drank a bit more Pocari Sweat and a ton of water and, surprisingly, had my first normal urge to urinate in three days. The frequency of the intense asscapades was also on the decline and I started feeling pretty optimistic about heading to the fight.

I woke up at 4p.m. feeling tired and nasty, but not as completely miserable as I had felt yesterday. I didn’t feel like driving so I decided to try to take a taxi to the stadium to catch the opening bell at 5. As things turned out I was able to stay and watch all the fights with minimal discomfort until around 8:30 or so, when, thankfully, everything was over with anyway and I could make my escape. Yay me!

After leaving I realized that I had an almost normal-feeling appetite for once in three or four days. What a wonderful feeling! I didn’t want to overdo it and I didn’t feel like eating anything complex so I settled on just three cheeseburgers, which turned out to be the cheapest thing I’ve eaten yet. I got them all down without any problems, drank a bunch of water and turned in for the night tired, but very hopeful about tomorrow.

Today was a schedules rest day anyway, so there was no problem with not doing anything. In fact, if being sick was just in the cards for me then these days were the best possible days to be sick, as they covered the least intense periods I have planned. Tomorrow is supposed to be a very heavy day, a 4km run, a full back workout in the gym and 15+ round boxing workout at night. I doubt I’ll be able to complete all of that but I’m going to at least attempt some of it and see how I feel.

Day 7, Sick like dog

Filed under: Fast Food Fighter — zxq9 @ 13:59

I woke up today feeling pretty bad. Actually, I was hoping that I could just get this over with and die quickly instead of suffering it out. My head didn’t hurt, my stomach didn’t hurt, my eyes didn’t hurt, my ass didn’t even burn when I expelled what seemed to be gallons of butt-pee. Nothing specific hurt. Just my whole me hurt. Like deep inside. It sucked horribly. It exacerbated all of the little soreness and tightness and tiny pains I had built up over the week.

This was miserable.

Me, feverish and feeling horrible.

I had only planned to do a forearm workout today and box if I felt up to it… well, boxing was certainly out of the question and going to the gym would have been an exercise in bowel control that I would rather not try. I couldn’t bring myself to eat anything until about 13:00, and when I did I ate very little…

One cheeseburger and a McFlurry. That’s it for today.

One meal was all I could deal with today.

I spend the whole day laying around feeling pretty miserable. I was very angry about getting sick, angry at missing workouts, angry that I couldn’t eat, angry that every time I felt angry I had to spray McSoup out of my ass… this whole day just sucked serious balls. And I was alternately burning up with an average 38.8 C (101.84 F) fever and suddenly sweating my ass off. Not very fun.

I wasn’t giving up on the experiment just yet, though I did have to violate one of my rules because of my extreme sweating. I had lost so much fluid and electrolyte content through sweating and assplosion that I seriously needed replacement of both. I permitted myself to drink Pocari Sweat, a fluid replacement drink produced by a medical company here in Japan. Its very light, contains almost no calories per liter and has a pretty even mix of salts. This is my favorite sports drink, actually, though I don’t usually drink any sports drinks because they are usually designed and marketed with the general public’s palate in mind, not for the strict benefit of actual athletes (look what’s happened to Gatorade). Pocari Sweat does not taste very good unless you actually need it, though it tastes a world better than ORS which is notorious for tasting like lightly salted ass unless you are in dire need of salts.

About 15 minutes or so after drinking about 500ml I felt a world of difference. None of my symptoms went away, but my dehydration headache which had become constant regardless how much water I put down suddenly vanished as did about half of my feeling of fatigue.

I still feel like a big bag of crap, though… Not a happy face day.

Day 6, Feeling… Unwell…

Filed under: Fast Food Fighter — zxq9 @ 13:28

I have been feeling a bit more sluggish than the usual fatigued feeling I should be having since yesterday morning. Not sure exactly what it is, but its definitely not a part of routine workout fatigue. I decided to go ahead and go on my planned run but at a much slower pace than usual. So far I’ve been running 4 km right at 20 minutes, which for me is a decent cardio rate, but not close to anything speedy (this is a precise 8-minute mile or 5-minute kilometer). Its interesting that I find myself consistently running that speed despite running steep hills, as it is the exact pace I was taught to run long-distance at when I was in the military.

Not looking forward to this run…

Even though my hamstrings were completely useless and I really felt as though I was running a 9 or even 10 minute mile, the run wound up being 21:16. Significantly slower, but not as slow as it felt. I think I just felt slow… in general. Everything about me felt slow and sort of nasty today.

After my run I felt marginally hungry, so I decided to head over for some more 朝マック, though its the last thing I wanted to put in my mouth. What I really felt like was eating a few cheeseburgers or something, but they don’t serve that stuff until lunchtime… Of course the breakfast burritos they serve in Texas would be awesome (and I’m sure a huge seller in Okinawa), but they don’t have those on the menu here, either, dammit.

Frustrated with my feelings of physical un-wellness, I decided to take it out on my food
I’d had enough by the 5th frame and called it quits

I was really starting to feel sort of unusually bad by the end of breakfast, but I’d resolved to at least go through with my weightlifting plan, even if I had to call off boxing for the day. My hamstrings were so tight that I wouldn’t be able to kick at all anyway so there wouldn’t be much point in heading to the boxing gym in any case.

Weight training today focused on arms — specifically, biceps and triceps. Some people don’t like to work out this way, but it works very well for me. But today I noticed that other than just feeling like crap in general my triceps were already pretty burnt out from the week of boxing. That shouldn’t have surprised me in retrospect, but whatever. First week on a new workout plan and funny things happen.

I decided to focus on biceps and hit those first, but go a bit light with it because I just wasn’t feeling very good. Here is how the workout wound up:

Outie Preacher Curls:
[Note: “Outie”s are performed on an EZ-bar with the wrist rotated as far to the outside as possible, instead of rotated to the inside as is usually seen. It makes you feel a lot more wimpy by removing the forearm muscles from the lift. Lots of lifters hate these and never do them.]

12 reps @ 20kgs
10 reps @ 25kgs
8 reps @ 30kgs
6 reps @ 35kgs
12 reps @ 25kgs


Concentration curls (dumbell, seated)

10 reps @ 16kgs, 3 sets

21’s (standing curls with barbell)

7 half-up, 7 half-down, 7 full range of motio @ 20kgs, 3 sets

Dumbell Tricep Extensions (seated)

10 reps @ 16kgs, 3 sets


After working out I felt better than before I went, but something just wasn’t right. I couldn’t put my finger on it because I had a lot of factors influencing my body at the moment, including diet, my workout plan, my lack of conditioning coming into this, and… the feeling that I might be getting sick.

I’m the type of person who doesn’t usually have time to get sick, so I just don’t.


This thought crossed my mind as I went to McDonald’s, but decided to get take-out because I was beginning to feel a little weird already.


After eating my evening meal, I started feeling increasingly weird until it finally happened: ‘Splode-ass. I had contracted the horrid ‘splode-ass from somewhere. Usually kids get that and I haven’t had a lot of contact with kids since I was a teacher years ago, so this surprised me… but there it was, undeniably boiling in my guts… I didn’t have a stomach ache, no headache, nothing like that. Just some explosive butt-soup. Dammit! How can this happen to me one single week into this experiment?!? I have some seriously crap luck (literally).


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