The Cannon Conjugate

Gather round children, and let Daddy tell you a story known in the world of computing as "the leftpad debacle". NPM is the computing equivalent of a gay bathhouse where programmers all gather to exchange diseases (the formal term in computer science is "bugchasing" if you want to look it up). Years ago, a programmer […]

Base64 v. Base58 with code in Erlang and TypeScript

Base64 and Base58 are two algorithms for encoding byte arrays to plain text. I initially assumed these were two instances of the same “Base N” algorithm. This is not the case. These are two fundamentally different algorithms. Base64 is simpler. It treats your byte array as a stream of bytes. It encodes 3 bytes at […]

Diaries of a non-consensual JavaScript developer, episode 2: my grand scheme to make my code style more readable has failed mildly

From my grand scheme to make my code style more readable has failed mildly did you know that javascript is retarded Idea: transform async function foo_doo(bar: baz, quux: quuz, buzz: fuzz) : Promise<fuzz> { … } into async function foo_doo(bar : baz, quux : quuz, buzz : fuzz) : Promise<fuzz> { … } I […]

Diaries of a non-consensual JavaScript developer, episode 1: dumdum JS object pointer logic

As part of an elaborate S&M fantasy roleplay, I have over the last handful of months been forced to spend significant time developing a real commercial project in JavaScript and TypeScript. During this period, I have learned quite a lot about both languages and how they work. And I’m going to share what I have […]

Web Designers: Stop making SPAs for inherently web 1.0 style sites

It is 2017. What’s with the drive to make everything an SPA whether it needs to be or not? This is getting a little ridiculous. I’m going to ramble on below a bit because I’ve got a hankering to do so — pay this no mind. All around the web I see sites that are […]

A Note to a Web Retailer about JavaScript-or-Else Pages

I was cruising computer hardware retailers on the web today because I’ve got to make a few orders. Not so many that I need to pester the manufacturers directly, but a large order compared to what most folks buy online with a credit card. Specifically, I need to replace one motherboard and build six new […]